Dancing with Grief

Ep. 042 with Breanna Olson

Today, I had the privilege of speaking with my dear friend, Breanna Olson, to discuss her heartbreaking journey with ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis). As we shared this intimate conversation, I was struck by Breanna’s resilience and grace in the face of such a challenging diagnosis. Her story is one of love, loss, and the unwavering strength of the human spirit.

A Life Defined by Movement

Breanna began by sharing her life story, which is beautifully woven with the threads of movement and art. Hailing at first from Utah, she was immersed in the world of ballet, which shaped her identity. She fondly recalled her time growing up on the East Coast, attending a prestigious Russian ballet school, where her passion for dance flourished. This love for movement would later serve her well, not just as a dancer but as a mother and a professional.

After getting married and moving to Seattle, Breanna dedicated herself to being a stay-at-home mom for 14 years, pouring her heart and soul into raising her three children. As she transitioned back into the workforce as an optician at the age of 40, life threw her a curveball: her marriage ended. This period was tumultuous, as she navigated the complexities of single motherhood and the emotional fallout of her divorce.

The Rollercoaster of Change

As we talked, I could feel the weight of her experiences. Breanna described feeling like she was on a rollercoaster, with her life shifting dramatically from stability to uncertainty. She had enrolled in a college program, but the changes in her personal life forced her to leave that behind. The grief of leaving what she had known—her marriage, her support system—was palpable.

In 2022, Breanna began experiencing unusual physical symptoms. As a dancer, she was in tune with her body and recognized that something was off. She described a hike where her legs felt heavy, as if she were moving through mud. Despite her instincts, she initially pushed through, attributing her feelings to fatigue. This determination to keep going, even when things felt wrong, resonated with me. It’s so easy to dismiss our feelings, isn’t it?

The Moment Everything Changed

When Breanna sought medical help, she faced a series of tests that ultimately led her to a diagnosis of ALS. I could see the emotion in her eyes as she recounted receiving the news. Alone in the doctor's office, she was faced with a devastating reality. The diagnosis felt like a death sentence—a horrific weight that no one should have to bear alone. I felt a deep sadness for her, knowing how much she had to process in that moment.

We talked about the emotional toll of living with ALS. Breanna described it as a slow loss of identity, a daily struggle that many people may not understand. She likened the experience to being buried alive, where each day brings new challenges and grief. This metaphor struck me deeply, reminding me of how important it is to acknowledge our feelings and give ourselves space to grieve.

The Power of Family and Community

In the midst of her struggles, Breanna highlighted the power of community and family support. She shared how her siblings have stepped up to be there for her, each playing a unique role in her life. Growing up in a challenging environment had bonded them closely, and that bond has only strengthened as they face her illness together. Her sister has taken on the role of caregiver and advocate, ensuring that Breanna has the support she needs. Her eldest brother assists financially, ensuring that Breanna’s needs are met and that his siblings can visit her regularly. Breanna’s long time dance partner brother, who now lives in Amsterdam, comes for weeks at a time to care for her physically and provide invaluable emotional support. 

As a mother, Breanna also reflected on how her diagnosis impacted her relationship with her children. With all three being teenagers, she recognized the challenges of balancing her illness with their needs. It’s a delicate dance—one that requires patience, love, and open communication. We talked about how crucial it is for families to rally together during difficult times, creating a support network that can help everyone cope with the emotional strain of a chronic illness.

Finding Joy Through Creativity

Breanna shared a powerful moment from her journey, when shortly after her diagnosis, she decided to create a dance video. Despite the physical challenges she faced, she embraced her love for dance and collaborated with her brother and daughter to choreograph a piece that expressed her spirit. Filming that video was a cathartic experience for her, allowing her to reclaim a part of herself that ALS threatened to take away.

This act of creativity reminded me of the importance of finding joy and purpose, even in the darkest times. Breanna’s determination to engage in life, to express herself through dance, was a beautiful testament to her strength. It’s a message I believe resonates with many of us: even when faced with grief and challenges, we can still find ways to celebrate life.

Advocating for Awareness and Support

Throughout our conversation, Breanna emphasized the importance of education and awareness surrounding ALS. She highlighted the need for better resources and support systems for individuals navigating this complex disease. Her advocacy for the ALS National Registry is commendable; it’s essential for tracking the disease and fostering research that could one day lead to a cure.

As we wrapped up our talk, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for Breanna’s openness and honesty. She shared her thoughts on legacy, expressing her desire for her children to understand the value of love, relationships, and gratitude. “Happiness comes from within yourself,” she said, a reminder that true joy is rooted in our connections with others.

Embracing Grief and Healing

Breanna’s perspective on grief is one that many can learn from. She encourages us to embrace our emotions, to cry when we need to, and to allow ourselves to heal. “Grief is not linear,” she explained. “It will hit you at unexpected times, but it’s important to acknowledge it and talk about it.” This wisdom is invaluable, especially in a world that sometimes pushes us to mask our feelings.

Through her journey, Breanna Olson embodies the essence of resilience and grace. Her story is a powerful reminder that while we may face unimaginable challenges, we can choose to respond with love, hope, and purpose. As I listened to her, I felt inspired to embrace my own life with a renewed sense of appreciation for every moment.

A Legacy of Love and Resilience

Breanna’s journey with ALS is far from over, but her spirit shines brightly, illuminating the path for others who may find themselves on a similar journey. In her words, “We develop the muscles to hold our grief,” a testament to our capacity to endure and grow, even in the face of adversity.

As we part ways, I carry with me the lessons learned from Breanna’s experience: to cherish relationships, to embrace love, and to choose gratitude every day. May we all strive to live with the same grace and resilience that Breanna exemplifies, allowing our hearts to be filled with hope, even amidst sorrow.