My Father Needs Me

Ep. 035 with Michael & Mike Schnabel 

Today, I had the profound privilege of sitting down with Michael and his son Mike Schnabel in their home in Kansas. As we explored their journey through grief after the loss of Michael’s beloved wife Ceci, I felt the warmth of their love and the strength of their bond. Their story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and how faith and family can guide us through even the darkest times.

Remembering a Beautiful Life

Michael began by sharing a sketch of his life, filled with love and adventure. Growing up in Arizona, he married Ceci just before joining the army. Their life together was a beautiful tapestry woven with shared experiences, from moving around the country to raising their two sons, Mike and Paul. Michael spoke fondly of Ceci’s unwavering commitment to family, her friendliness, and her steadfastness in her beliefs.

As a mother, Ceci was a true “mama bear,” fiercely loving her boys and always putting their needs first. Mike shared sweet memories of childhood, filled with museum trips and home renovations, and it became clear that Ceci’s influence was profound. Her fearless spirit inspired both Michael and Mike to tackle challenges head-on, whether in parenting, work, or personal hobbies.

The Pain of Loss

Ceci’s passing brought immense pain and shock to their lives, yet through their grief, they discovered a path toward healing. Michael described the moment he realized he had lost Ceci, feeling paralyzed by the weight of the news. He called his sons to share the heartbreaking reality, and while it was challenging, he chose to be straightforward rather than sugarcoat the situation.

For Mike, the loss was a mix of anticipated sorrow and unexpected grief. He had always known this moment could come, yet when it did, it felt surreal. His immediate response was to be there for his father, showcasing the love and support that families can provide during trying times.

The Healing Power of Presence

One of the most touching aspects of our conversation was the emphasis on simply being present for one another. Mike drove through a winter storm to be with his father, demonstrating the profound impact of physical presence in times of grief. As they navigated the immediate aftermath of Ceci’s passing, they focused on practical tasks—arranging for her memorial and cleaning out her belongings.

Together, they shared moments of normalcy amidst the chaos of loss. Whether it was eating Chinese food or tackling household chores, these rituals became a source of comfort. As Mike mentioned, “It’s the little things that matter.” They found solace in each other’s company, proving that sometimes, grieving together in silence or routine can be just as healing as deep conversations about feelings.

Embracing Change and Growth

Through their journey, both Michael and Mike recognized the importance of embracing change. Grief can feel like a heavy weight, but it also carries the potential for growth and transformation. Mike shared his realization that life is too precious to remain stagnant, even in the face of loss. He recognized that while Ceci would always hold a special place in their hearts, it was essential to move forward and embrace new experiences.

This idea resonated with me deeply. As someone who has navigated grief, I understand how painful it can feel to let go of what once was. Yet, I’ve learned that embracing new beginnings doesn’t diminish the love we hold for those we’ve lost. Instead, it honors their memory by allowing us to grow into our best selves.

Finding New Hobbies and Rituals

Our discussion naturally flowed to how Michael and Mike began to find new hobbies together as a way to honor Ceci’s memory while also creating new experiences. They took up shooting, a fun activity that allowed them to bond and find joy in shared interests. This reminded me of the importance of creating new memories while cherishing old ones.

As we talked, I reflected on my own journey and how I’ve found peace in grief through faith, family, and new traditions. It’s vital to allow ourselves to explore new avenues of joy while still holding onto the beautiful memories of our loved ones.

The Beauty of Remarriage

As our conversation unfolded, the topic of remarriage came up. Michael and Mike both expressed how important it is to remember that love doesn’t diminish when we open our hearts to new relationships. Michael, who remarried after losing Ceci, described how his new marriage doesn’t erase the love he had for his late wife. Instead, it enriches his life in new ways.

For me, this perspective is crucial. It’s a reminder that we can love deeply and authentically more than once in our lives. When we find new love, we can share stories and memories of those we’ve lost, ensuring they continue to live on in our hearts and conversations.

Lessons Learned from Grief

As we wrapped up our conversation, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the lessons shared by Michael and Mike. Their story is a beautiful reminder that while grief is an inevitable part of life, it doesn’t have to define us. Instead, it can lead us to deeper connections, new beginnings, and a renewed sense of purpose.

In the face of loss, we can choose to find peace through faith, family, and the love that surrounds us. I encourage anyone navigating their grief journey to embrace the support of loved ones, share memories, and allow themselves the grace to grow.

Conclusion

Michael and Mike Schnabel’s journey through grief is a testament to the strength of love and family. Their ability to find peace amidst sorrow, embrace change, and create new traditions is an inspiration to us all. As I left their home that day, I carried with me the warmth of their bond and the hope that we can all find healing through love, laughter, and the memories of those who have touched our lives.

If you or someone you know is navigating the difficult journey of grief, I hope you find comfort in the idea that healing is possible and that new beginnings can emerge from even the deepest pain. Let us honor our loved ones by living fully and lovingly, embracing both the past and the present.